Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Celebrating Failure

Once again, I'm dropped into the deep pool of failure and I'm learning to swim all over again.

The failure... unsuccessful on my TCRG exams... meaning I have not a clue what I passed and what I didn't, or whether I can take just one or two parts over or if I would have to retake the whole thing.

The swimming...

Did I learn anything? Definitely

Am I a better person for having gone through this year? Probably

Will someone please come put me out of my misery? Not likely

Okay, it's more like treading to keep from drowning. I know I'll formulate some kind of plan and figure out how to live with me and all my inadequacies. I mean, it's not like this is the first time I have failed, even this year.

In fact, I'm so experienced in failure that I should be able to teach a class on it.

But the thing that I can't ignore is the fact that I can only fail when I try something hard. If it were easy, I would always succeed.

So why do I keep putting myself in precarious situations that leave the door wide open to another failure?

Because I want more. I'm never going to be satisfied sitting in my own mediocrity (definition... moderate to inferior in quality; ordinary). Wait, isn't that what all my failures are trying to prove? That I am the definition of mediocre?

Maybe. I guess I'm rebellious.

So world, I give you proof that I'm trying to be better, even if I'm still not there. Failure is proof that I tried.

For how to handle success, please find someone who knows more about it. I don't happen to be an expert in that field. We don't have a happy dance at our house. Or a this-is-what-we-do-when-things-go-insanely-right tradition. It seems like we spend most of our time figuring out how to get over the next hurdle.


L.T. Elliot said...

I think most of us feel this way, Laura. I know we don't do a "happy dance" around here much because we're constantly pulling ourselves free from the mire--if we're free of it at all.

But you didn't fail. Failing is not trying. Failing is giving up. You just said it--loud and clear--that you can't give up because you'll always strive to be better. And that's the definition of success to me.

Too many people are willing to try it once and stop. Too many people aren't willing to try at all.

That makes you a rarity and a wonder. Keep trying. Keep fighting. Keep falling and getting back up.

Because you're not a failure to me. You're a hero.

Wendy Swore said...

Amen to what L.T. Elliot said. You don't fail intil you sit down and give up. You are awesome. Believe in yourself and don't let this get you down. I'll do the happy dance for you next time. We're good at it because we practice it for goals within our reach: We got the kids to bed. *happy dance* I ate one bite of that cake instead of the whole thing. *happy dance* Hugs to you, my friend.

Laura said...

Thank you both, for your kind words.

Nate and Robin said...

"One can not rest content with mediocrity, when excellence is within his grasp." by Thomas S. Monson. This is Nate's favorite quote. You have excellence within your grasp. The Lord gave you your talents and you are sharing them and working on them. You have already touched so many people with them. You, my dear, have not failed as long as you continue for excellence. Endure it well and you will end up on top. :)