Random thoughts, not Random House

It's been an interesting ride getting this far into things. I thought I would share some of my experiences with those of you morbid enough to want to know what it's like in the trenches.

1- I didn't win the Delacorte contest. Whew. I mean, I would have totally loved it, but I got my rejection letter May 7- a week after the contest deadline. The upside is, I get to stop stressing about it. It still said that the results would be announced around April 30. But, as far as I can find, no winner has been announced still. There hasn't been one since three years ago.

2- I'm trying to get professional reviews for my book. My publisher has a list of places for me to send Alvor. I mailed out 15 copies so far, and no, that doesn't include Oprah Winfrey, although I do have her address. Then I started getting really depressed when I realized how many awesome reviewers required a higher standard than a podunk author like me can provide. I went crying to my publisher only to find out that they already took care of the big guys' review stuff. Greenie. That's me.

3- Marketing. I went and talked to the CRM at Barnes and Nobles and she said some interesting and daunting things. Writing a book is only 1/3 of the work of books. 1/3. I don't even know what the other 2/3 is. So far it's included stressing about whether enough people will have the chance to read my book in the first place so they can tell the entire rest of the world to read it in the second place, but I really doubt stressing is considered work. I mean, how do you proactively stress? Someone told me yesterday that I wrote the book in the first place because I love writing- "So just write." I think I can live with that answer. I miss writing. I've been pro-actively stressing, along with doing a bunch of sometimes related to marketing activities for the last couple weeks. I need some writing therapy.

4- Quotes. I told you that this was kind of a morbid post, and now you're going to find out what kind of sense of humor I have. These are the latest jokes that made me laugh. I take no credit for making any of them up, but I did laugh at each and every one.

"Due to current fund shortages, the light at the end of the tunnel has been temporarily turned off."

"What recession? You just have to choose not to participate."

A writer died and was given the option of going to heaven or hell.
She decided to check out each place first. As the writer descended into the fiery pits, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes.
"Oh my," said the writer. "Let me see heaven now."
A few moments later, as she ascended into heaven, she saw rows of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes.
"Wait a minute," said the writer. "This is just as bad as hell!"
"Oh no, it's not," replied an unseen voice. "Here your work gets published."

5- So now what? This morning I dealt with my stress head-on. I cleaned the bathroom. Trust me, if you want to forget all your troubles, go into a bathroom that three boys use and scrub till it sparkles. My little girl walked in and said, "Woa! It smell good in here." Just be glad you weren't there for the 'before'.

6- Book Signings!!!! Put this on your calendar. May 30 from 10-1 A Novel Adventure Bookstore, 906 W. Main St. Boise, Idaho, and the same day, May 30 from 2-4 Book Nook Plus, 705 12th Ave Rd. Nampa, Idaho.

If you live in Utah...June 10 from 4-6 Pioneer Book, 135 West Center, Provo, Utah, and June 12 from 5-7, Borders 4801 N. University Ave., Provo, Utah

Back in Idaho, June 26 from 7-8:30 Rediscovered Bookshop, 7079 Overland Rd., Boise, Idaho

I'm still working on some more, I'll keep you posted.

7- I need you guys to go to Amazon and post a review for my book. Really. I'm not kidding. Just click on the picture that says, "Click on the picture to buy it on Amazon" and it will take you to Amazon. Under the specs for the book there is a place to post a review. You have to fill out a little thing- and you can put in a fake identity. No, I'm not the one that posted the first review, but you could be the second, or third or even the one hundredth person to do it. Consider it a significant step in the world of being a responsible fan.