I'm finally feeling a little caught up. I'm sure it's a temporary thing, but at I'm going to enjoy it while I can.
I've been helping organize a small part of the LDStorymakers Conference coming up May3-5. As I was working through some of the scheduling, I was given a small piece of perspective that I am every so grateful to have.
I'm not the only one.
I spend too much time beating myself up for not reaching my goals/dreams. It's not that I have ever stopped working towards them, but in the end, for my goals to be realized, someone else has to see my work and decide to take it on.
In other words, my goals are impossible for me to accomplish alone. Of course, this makes me wonder if my goals are realistic. And honestly, it doesn't even matter of they are because I can't change my dream. I even tried, but I can't.
And as I scheduled pitch sessions for over a hundred other writers, I saw over a hundred other writers in my same boat. A goal/dream that can not be realized without the help of someone else.
I'm not sure why this felt like such a comfort to me, but it did. I know a lot of these people and I can tell you first-hand that they are talented writers. So, if there are tons of talented writers out there still shooting for their star even if there is no promise they'll hit it, I guess it's okay for me to be one of them.
It makes me wonder if they beat themselves up like I do. At the end of the day, do they ever feel like their value can be measured in rejections? I know I shouldn't, but it's hard not to wonder if I'll ever be good enough to get to where I can't stop wanting to be.
And even if I'm not there yet, I sort of count on the fact that since I can't quit, I'm only going to get better with time. If I never stop writing, one of these days I'm going to write that book that gets that contract.
Then again, should I never reach that star, I can honestly say that I have still learned a lot in the process of trying to get there. Experience is an education.
To all of you still shooting for your star, don't give up. Somehow it will all be worth it in the end.