Thursday, September 3, 2009

How it feels to be a writer...

Someone in my writer's group sent this to me today. I totally loved it. If you can't read the captions-

Gentlemen, I have just completed my new novel.

It is so good, I am not even going to send it to you.

Why don't you just come and get it.

Ha ha ha... If you've ever written a novel, you know exactly how this feels. Wouldn't it be great to just skip the whole submission/ rejection process. Yes, it's a submission/rejection process. You can't get anywhere unless you can take the big REJECTION letters.

You want more?
Well, another day has gone by and you still haven't come to pick up my novel for publication.
Just for that, I am going to offer it to another publisher.
Nyahh! Nyahh! Nyahh!

Has the thought ever crossed your mind? How dare the agent or house of your dreams not see what an incredibly talented writer you are simply by reading a query letter?

I guess that's how every writer feels. I'm working through some things, including writing query letters and I'll tell you- I can't really make myself believe that anyone would pick up a whole manuscript based on a letter. Any letter.

Unless you had an amazing resume, I'm really doubting there is anything I could say in a letter that would leave an agent swooning. And yet, because of the way things are set up, that's exactly what I have to do.
I've read books about what makes a good query letter, but here's what I really believe. Unless you can send in some actual work with your query letter, you either have to prove that you are a good investment based on experience, or you've just wasted a stamp. Probably two stamps, the good old SASE. It's that simple.

If you're lucky enough to get to mail a synopsis, you might be okay. Really, it's going to take at least a few pages of the actual manuscript or there's not a chance in the world you'll land an agent.
And for big publishing houses, still working on that one. All I know is that it's steep competition. Wish I had some marvelous advice- then I'd give it to myself. In the meantime, I'm stepping into the dark again and hoping for something better than a SASE in the mailbox.


numberonedashnerfan said...

Duh so Really I won a copy of you book duh my computer died so I could never find out oh well thats what I get.... I shall live I guess

Laura said...

I can't believe it! Listen, if you shoot me your address at laurabinghambooks at, I'll make it up to you.

L.T. Elliot said...

Loved the cartoons and crossing my fingers for your submissions.

Laura said...

L.T.- you're the best. So when am I going to hear about your big success??? I'm guessing before the year's out.

Good luck to you. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you too.