Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Lost two pounds... and other mysteries of the Universe

For all my international visitors, I didn't lose money. I'm not even sure I lost fat. Is it possible to lose two pounds of your brain?

Yesterday I went in for my annual check-up. No matter how I try to skirt the issue, they always manage to make me step on the scale. Oh yeah. Everyone's favorite part.

Except my son, but that doesn't count. Thirteen year old boys love to see that they've grown two inches in the last month and gained two pounds to go with it. Alas, I was never a thirteen year old boy.

And it doesn't matter how much you suck it up when you stand on the scale, you weigh the same. Dang it. What did I eat for lunch? Did it weigh a lot? I can't even remember.

So the Dr. comes in and tells me how perfectly healthy I am, and to top it off, I lost two pounds since last year's visit.

What???

More like gained five pounds. Really. Not kidding.

See, last April I decided to buy these fancy Sketcher Tone up shoes that have rounded soles. They're supposed to be super good for you and all that. I bought them so my knee would stop hurting. My knee did stop hurting. It was like a miracle shoe.

Except that after walking in them for 45 minutes 3-4 times a week on top of my regular exercise schedule I GAINED 5 POUNDS!!!! Seriously. What is up with that?

Sure sure, muscle weighs more than fat. But see, I have fat, which means that the extra muscle is probably pushing my uhm, thigh line or something. I'm not skinnier. Actually, I'm pretty much the same, except that I weigh more and I'm NOT excited about that.

Now, if physics could just come into play, all that extra muscle would raise my metabolism and I'd lose fat. Right? Only in the text books I think.

For me, I'm still scratching my head. How did I weigh so much last year? Was I wearing my shoes AND holding my purse? Probably. Those scales always throw me off my groove.

2 comments:

L.T. Elliot said...

You're a hottie, Laura. Seriously, you ALWAYS look awesome! I'll have to try out those shoes, though. That's awesome that they made your knee stop hurting. =]

Laura said...

Ahhh. You're too nice. But I do love my shoes- those naughty little things that made me weigh more.

I hear it does the opposite for normal people. Shoulda known I was not normal...