Monday, June 6, 2011

Write because you have something to say

It's a motto that I have lived by since I can remember. Before I considered it writing, I wrote only what meant something to me. I either let no one else read it or I threw it away.

Now I write things that mean something to me and give it to the world to see.

But I still try to only write when I have something to say. And today...

all I have is randomness.

Truly. I've been editing like it's my new favorite sport. Has this ever happened to you? All I want to do is sit and revise- edit- revise- change- oooh, and revise some more. It's like a disease.

And then my grandma sends me a random e-mail that makes me laugh so hard I can't breathe- so I'll share some of it with you in case you have my demented sense of humor...
Church Ladies With typewriters . . .

They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered..
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.


So as you can see, I'm breaking my own rule. I don't really have anything to say... but I'm still laughing. Aaah. Okay, I'll come back and entertain with something more thought-provoking ...next time.

5 comments:

L.T. Elliot said...

Oh, man that was awesome! I love the one about the self esteem and back door. =D

Christy said...

Ha! Anything that makes me belly laugh is worth reading!

Laura said...

Yeap, I'm a sucker for funny.

TisforTonya said...

this reminds me of the time my B.I.L. (a marriage/family therapist) was asked to make up flyers for his ward - encouraging the couples to watch a particular inspiring movie and go out to dinner with other couples, then return home and do "marriage strengthening exercises"... only someone forgot to print the innocent suggested marriage strengthening exercises on the other side...

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